Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Remembering June 3

Loved Ones,

It was June 3rd that we first heard Ray's prognosis. We met with Ray's doctor at Northwestern and she said, "So, what have they told you?" We were so uneducated about cancer that we truly did not know what to expect. But she went on to tell us that Ray's cancer was incurable. And that chemo would help, but not forever, and then Ray would die.

It was the worst possible thing that we could have heard.

We fought it, asking her questions about liver transplants and clinical trials. But her response was certain, and even clinical trials didn't offer curative treatment.

After she left I said to Ray that this did not change anything. That our hopes, that our confidence that it is God alone who can heal, were unchanged. And so we began the journey of knowing that the worst could happen and praying the God would heal Ray.

This year June 3rd is significant for another reason. It is Nora's last day of school. Kindergarten, that she started with her dad and will finish with him in heaven.

I know that for Nora, Ray is still here in many ways. She never draws our family without him. Her latest creations have him in shorts with 4th of July fireworks in the sky. And we know that Ray is with us in our hearts.

How we wish that his healing had been here on earth! That he would be with us tomorrow when Nora comes off the bus from that last day of school -- just like he was when we sent her off on that first day!

I close with the verse from June 3rd last year. It gives me strength, just knowing that we clung to it last year, and that it still gives us power today in everything we face.

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-4

not alone and not afraid --



amywb said...

Tremendous verse. We are with you tomorrow. xo

COWolgies said...

Kristin...your words are powerful, rich, and deep. I love you, we love you. Thank you for navigating these unmarked trails with grace, dignity and courage.