They say that sickness and death reveal the real core of a person. I think that is probably true and if it is, the core of my husband was faith in God; kindness, thoughtfulness and love for others; graciousness in suffering; and of course, love of the White Sox.
I thought back today to a moment in the hospital that first time. When we got there and he had the first round of chemo, Ray was just so so sick. It was hard to imagine but in the week since his diagnosis the cancer had just weakened him so greatly, he wasn't himself at all. He started that first round of chemo really late at night and it knocked him out for a few days.
So we were getting closer to leaving and they'd prescribed a ton of different medications for Ray which I was attempting to fill at the hospital pharmacy. This took many trips back and forth for various reasons and when I was heading back downstairs once again, Ray looked at me and winked.
It was like my heart stopped. My husband! He was back!
Because of all things, Ray was an exceptional husband. Encouraging me in my small task of filling the prescriptions. While he fought cancer.
That was Ray.
Of all the things I miss, I really miss being Ray's wife.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25
not alone and not afraid --