Wednesday, August 21, 2013

First Day of School

Loved Ones,

It's the end of an era today.  For much of the last 11 years I have had a child at my side.  The last few with Lucy who my friends called a little monkey I would swing up on my hip.

Today all my girls go to school all day.

I'm one of those moms that hates this day!  For all the moms at the bus stop who cheer, I am the one with tears.

Last night I cleaned and packed lunches and straightened and set out clothes and set alarms and when I finally dropped in bed I felt sadness.  I didn't want to take the next step!

It reminds me of when I took Nora to day care for the very first time.  I prepared and labeled all of her stuff and got through those first three days to decide that I hated it!  I hated leaving my child!  I did it long enough to be sure that I wanted to quit and then I embraced mommy-hood.

What a joy and a privilege to be a mom.  To be entrusted with those lives, those souls, those spirits.

My beautiful girls are growing up so quickly.  Of course they are ready!  The last days of the "Mommy/Lucy club" are over, and all three are so excited for their wonderful teachers -- happiness all around.

Still.  Like so many times in my life, I wish I could turn back the clock.  I am grateful for each day I enjoyed with each girl.  I am grateful for the chance to celebrate and navigate the challenges and the joys of each stage and each day.  I wouldn't trade it and I'll always cherish it.

I am very grateful for the fact that I planned for this day and as my kids took steps forward I did too!

But I will always miss them at my side.

Happy fall.  Happy back to school.

not alone and not afraid --