tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61236565117084247222024-03-18T22:27:43.673-05:00Fitzgerald FamilyKristin FitzgeraldUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger330125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-35621014124597001262020-01-21T12:01:00.002-06:002020-01-21T12:01:43.845-06:00Eleven Years<br />
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Loved Ones,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today marks 11 years since Ray went to heaven. 11 years!! </div>
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11
years has so much significance to me because Ray and I dated three and a half years
and were married eight. He was in my life eleven and a half years. And thus, this
year will hold the day when I have had more time without him, than with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yet, I can’t truly be without him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He is here in the girls – in Maggie’s jokes, in Lucy’s toes,
in Nora’s way.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And he is here in me. Through his life he changed us – and he
lives on always in those changes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am grateful to all of you for remembering him today and
always. And for bringing us his light when you share your memories and remember his
spirit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m posting today the best pictures I can find that show his
true spirit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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That, I miss the most.<o:p></o:p></div>
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not alone and not afraid –<o:p></o:p></div>
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kristin<o:p></o:p></div>
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“On this mountain… he will swallow up death forever. The
Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces;” Isaiah 25:7-8<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-74583531605846218582019-10-13T07:30:00.000-05:002019-10-13T07:30:46.916-05:00Happy Birthday Ray!<br />
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Loved Ones,<o:p></o:p></div>
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This would be Ray’s 48<sup>th</sup> birthday. This year he
would be the father of two teens and one almost-teen. </div>
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One of the hardest things
about losing Ray was that we lost him so early. The girls don’t know what he
would have been like as a dad that introduces himself to their Homecoming dates,
tells them what not to wear, teaches them to drive, visits prospective
colleges.<o:p></o:p></div>
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None of us truly know what it would have been like, but I
know the most about the things Ray would have brought to their life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I loved dating Ray. We went to the theater, we played games,
we danced, we dined, we traveled.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have tried to bring them what I know Ray would want. I
would not stop until I got them to Paris!<o:p></o:p></div>
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However, I can be super practical. The extraordinary gesture
is more him than I. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This birthday I bought them tickets to Hamilton!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Their dad was lavish in his love and care.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I wish so much that they could know this in their hearts.
That they had one dance with their dad. That they heard his jokes! His laugh! I
know he would buy them roses on their sixteenth, patiently teach them to drive,
have more inside jokes than they can imagine, watch Sox games, and yes, go to
the theater.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I can’t wait to surprise them with the tickets for
Thanksgiving weekend in his honor.<o:p></o:p></div>
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May they feel his love and care in their hearts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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not alone and not afraid –<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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kristin<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">"See what great </span><b style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">love</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> the Father has </span><b style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">lavish</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">ed on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1</span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-82669877569907988922019-01-21T22:31:00.001-06:002019-01-21T22:31:46.559-06:0010 Years in HeavenLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Today marked 10 years with Ray in Heaven.<br />
<br />
We celebrated Ray all weekend, with a mass by Father Brankin, at an Irish bar, at the grave and with family meals.<br />
<br />
It was so good to see our friends and family and celebrate Ray with them.<br />
<br />
I've been writing Ray's story the last six month. It has connected us so deeply with Ray's struggle with cancer.<br />
<br />
Though we always remember Ray, the stories we tell are usually about his humor and who he was before cancer. Going through all the memories has brought back how it felt to endure this very difficult journey.<br />
<br />
Remembering this has brought new insights and renewed mission. Over Christmas we spent time at the same cancer ward that we spent that last Christmas with Ray. We made cards and delivered them to patients. I thought it would be terrible to connect to the struggle others are now facing. I felt glad. I felt glad to use those very hard memories to help others.<br />
<br />
Being with those who face the threat of their very life, brings back just how inspirational Ray was as he coped with this same threat. Over time the things I say about him lose the freshness of that feeling. Writing the story and connecting with others in the same spot, brings it all back.<br />
<br />
Ray really was this amazing. He really did deal with this incredibly sad loss with such grace, sacrifice, and acceptance. Without complaint. With God at his side.<br />
<br />
I know this. I've known this. It has influenced so greatly my own path in going forward after losing him. But, it's good to have a fresh reminder, even for me. To remember this perspective. To remember how much we have with each day. To remember that he was blessed. And that we are. And to feel that, not with strife, but with love. In truth. To then use these gifts in love.<br />
<br />
It's the task of life.<br />
<br />
We remember all of you Ray. We remember your humor, your partnership, your kindness to others. But we especially your example. You set the bar really high. Right up to heaven.<br />
<br />
You are in our hearts always.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
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"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. <span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. </span><span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. </span><span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, </span><span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">for they will be filled. </span><span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy. </span><span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. </span><span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God. </span><span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Mathew 5:2-10</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 0.8125rem;">"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." I John 3:18</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-72015473410034300752018-10-13T20:13:00.000-05:002018-10-13T20:13:07.048-05:00Ray's 47th BirthdayHappy Birthday Ray!!<br />
<br /><br />
We've been thinking about Ray all fall. I want the girls to know more of Ray, more of his story and I've been digging in to the memories. He's constantly on our minds.<br />
<br /><br />
Maggie is doing a paper for school about children who have lost a parent. She interviewed me.<br />
<br /><br />
Ray, who he was and losing him to heaven so soon<em> makes me who I am</em>.<br />
<br /><br />
It influences every part of who I am as a mother -- and thus every part of who they will be.<br />
<br /><br />
I'm on a soccer trip with Maggie this weekend and the girls are with my mom and dad.<br />
<br /><br />
We've never been apart on Ray's birthday but such is life and today we are.<br />
<br /><br />
Never in the entire time of their soccer careers have they ever played on the South Side. <br />
<br /><br />
Tonight, Nora's game was at Marist High School - so near to Ray's Brother Rice.<br />
<br /><br />
There has been no question in my mind that Ray would be there with Nora while I was gone.<br />
<br /><br />
But I really missed him here in St. Louis. <br />
<br /><br />
I asked him if he could help Maggie with a birthday goal while she wore his lucky number 13 on October 13th, his birthday.<br />
<br /><br />
Game winner that goal!<br />
<br /><br />
As I drove out of the complex I saw a political sign. It wasn't until then that I realized that Maggie was playing in John Shimkus' district - Ray's boss.<br />
<br /><br />
One on the South Side. One in Shimkusland.<br />
<br /><br />
We needed Ray here too. And he was here.<br />
<br /><br />
Happy Birthday Ray. You're here with us everyday. But especially today.<br />
<br /><br />
not alone and not afraid --<br />
<br /><br />
kristin<br />
<br /><br />
"As for me, this is my covenant with them," says the Lord. "My spirit, who is on you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips, on the lips of your children and on the lips of their descendants -- from this time on and forever," says the Lord." Isaiah 59:21<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-86267064231587653472018-01-21T08:20:00.001-06:002018-01-21T08:20:04.906-06:00The 9th Anniversary of Ray's Entrance to HeavenLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Today marks nine years since Ray entered heaven. He will be ever-present in our thoughts.<br />
<br />
In Ray's own words, it is a "Love without End." He loved that song by George Stait, he taught it to the girls and the pictures he loved the most are arranged in a folder with this name. The pictures I post today are from that folder.<br />
<br />
We remember him always and we miss him so much today and everyday. I know he would be so proud of all the girls are doing in school, in soccer and in life! It is a grief for all of us that we can't share this with him - the good times and bad.<br />
<br />
But, we know he watches over us, and we are grateful for every reminder of our connection still and the many memories we have when we were together.<br />
<br />
We are so grateful for our family and friends - many who knew him - some who did not. We know that the love, empathy and prayers you so generously bestow on us are God's arms around us -- helping us to continue on in faithfulness with thoughts of Ray in our hearts.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
"Comfort, comfort my people,<br />
says your God.<br />
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,<br />
and proclaim to her<br />
that her hard service has been completed,<br />
that her sin has been paid for,<br />
that she has received from the Lord’s hand<br />
double for all her sins." Isaiah 40:1-2<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-80812634279960185782017-10-13T06:42:00.000-05:002017-10-13T06:42:13.380-05:00Happy 46th Birthday RayLoved Ones -<br />
<br />
With my three girls in travel soccer we are driving up and down 294 often. Lucy and I were heading to South Holland for a game a few weeks ago on 294. When we are heading to Indiana this way we always watch for Holy Sepulchre Cemetery to come up on the left but this time it caught us by surprise. I wouldn't have imagined how much we would love being able to drive by and almost see right to Ray's grave but we do. We always call out a message. This time was no different.<br />
<br />
We sure miss Ray! This fall has been more busy than any other and any connection we find to him we cherish! I wouldn't have imagined how much soccer would have me on 294 either back then so it seems like divine planning that we have that special gift as we barrel down the highway on our way.<br />
<br />
For Ray's birthday we were interviewed by our local neighborhood magazine. We talked about his love of White Sox and hatred of Cubs. When we were in DC last we ran into a hill staffer who recounted how Ray had called her when the White Sox won the World Series to make sure that the speech she wrote for her boss to give on the House floor was adequately full of White Sox facts. That was like found gold to have that new memory and to picture Ray calling.<br />
<br />
We'll be thinking of him today and missing him more than any other! Happy Birthday Ray!!<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
"I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers." Ephesians 1:16<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-42726591879558230642017-07-18T07:38:00.001-05:002017-07-18T07:38:51.372-05:00Reaching Paris<div class="MsoNormal">
Loved Ones,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write this with joy and anticipation. I wrote three years
ago about wanting to travel to Europe. I am so excited to say that we are on
our way later tonight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a journey this has been. Emblematic of the journey of
life itself, this long-awaited trip has been in the corner of my mind since I
last wrote.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are so excited to see the places that Ray and I traveled
in Paris, and to connect with those memories. We are equally excited to make
memories of our own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many things are similar to the first trip Ray and I took so
many years ago when we got engaged. Can it be that this is 17 years later?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are grateful for your prayers and wanted you to share in
our joy and our adventure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
not alone and not afraid – <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
kristin<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be” Psalm 139<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-79281359153416842412017-01-21T22:39:00.000-06:002017-01-21T22:39:38.237-06:00Eight YearsLoved Ones -<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
How is it possible that it has been eight years since Ray went to heaven? All at once it seems so long and so short. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am so grateful for every memory of Ray. We went to Disney over break because Nora was playing in a tournament. Because we've only been there three times, the time with Ray just before Ray got sick, was still fresh in my mind. We would turn a corner and a memory that I hadn't thought of in years would pop up, and I would pass it on to the girls. I am so grateful for every sentence. Every glimpse. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
One of those memories is the memory of the inauguration just before he died. Of course, you all know that Ray loved politics. I remember asking him what he thought during that election. And he would say, it just doesn't matter. It was so hard to hear that because it was of such shared importance during our whole relationship. People ask me all the time what I think he would think about all that has transpired since then. I wish I knew!! It is one of the things I miss most about him being gone!!! I so wish I could ask him. The old him before he got sick, and the person with all perspective later. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I didn't really have that perspective problem when the Cubs won. I was pretty sure I knew what his thoughts would be and the girls and I did our best to stay true!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I remember thinking once when we were at the hospital, will I ever hold these painful times as dear, just because they were still with him? I think I have reached that time now. I will take any memory. They are all a connection to him. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
One of the quotes I love the most about Ray is this: "To know Ray, was to be his friend." Today the depth and breadth of that truth was so evident. I am so grateful for the love of all our friends and family who surrounded us in every way today. God's love and Ray's I can feel through all of you. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
not alone and not afraid --</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
kristin</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."</div>
<div>
Psalm 139:16</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-73085712295621778072016-10-13T21:25:00.002-05:002016-10-13T21:40:32.226-05:00Happy 45th Ray!<div class="MsoNormal">
Loved Ones,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy Birthday Ray! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today caught me by surprise. It’s been so long that Ray’s
been gone that I don’t expect a strongly emotional reaction from myself. The
power of time I think.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I always want to honor Ray and mark the day in a special way so I
went to my computer to find a picture to post for his birthday. I was looking
through all my computer files, all named and arranged by Ray, and came upon the
file he had for pictures of himself with the girls.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love Without End.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And just like that, it broke my heart. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the beginning with
the grief, my grief was not just for myself and the girls and our loss of Ray.
It was for Ray’s loss of us. The pain of that was so great and so deep for him
and it was all there in “Love Without End.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These days my emotional connection to Ray's pain is less. I feel
his pain hardly at all. But looking at that file, it was all there. His deep
grief that he just wanted to live and be with his girls. That he wanted them to
remember him. That he loved them so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet. He was right that his love was a love without end. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just last weekend Nora was battling a tough fight on the soccer field. Her challenge,
not just to play well, but to earn her coach’s trust. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the hard things about Ray not being here with us on
earth is that sometimes when one of my kids needs me, so does the other.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was Lucy’s turn for me to watch her game, not Nora so she
went alone. When it came time for her game to start, though she was in a
different city, Maggie, Lucy and I in our car prayed hard for Nora.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I asked her to feel us by her side and her dad too. I asked
for all the help that he could give her and that in the end, that when she
succeeded, all the glory would go to God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got a text a few minutes after Nora got on the field, that
she had scored a goal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Prayer answered.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was not surprised. I call on Ray sometimes when the
strength of my mothering is just not enough. I don’t know what things are like in
heaven but I am never disappointed and the reliability and power often brings
me to tears.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In that spirit, I will paste the lyrics that I can still
hear Ray and the girls singing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Let me tell you a secret about a father's love<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A secret that my daddy said was just between us<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He said daddies don't just love their children every now and
then<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It's a love without end, Amen, it's a love without end,
Amen.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
not alone and not afraid –<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
kristin <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of
the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even
Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how
God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown
into the fire, will he not much more clothe you” Mathew 6:28-30<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-25056221211556962202016-01-20T22:23:00.000-06:002016-01-20T22:23:08.363-06:00Seven YearsLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
January 21 is the seven year anniversary of Ray's death. Or as Lucy and I prefer to put it, the seven year anniversary of his entrance to heaven.<br />
<br />
It is impossible to believe that seven years have gone by. Some of those years were so rough! I am so grateful for the steadfast love of our family and friends.<br />
<br />
Ray's life was so well lived! Daily we reflect on his gifts. His humor! His joy! His friendship! His strength and faith. When teaching religion I rely on his example so often. And on the faith lessons of that time, always.<br />
<br />
I am so honored to be able to be a reflection of his legacy. The Ray Fitzgerald lectureship so honors his faith. Our stomach cancer advocacy, his fight. It is a blessing to all of us to be able to have these opportunities where he and his story just live on and continue to move and bless so many.<br />
<br />
I cannot possibly express his impact on me. And the impact of our faith on our lives now.<br />
<br />
Of all the meaningful messages during the past seven years, the idea that we are carrying the burden that is "well fitting" stays with me. That God has given each of us the burden that only we can bear. Far more, that this burden is our gift. Our message for the world.<br />
<br />
I pray always for the wisdom and grace to teach the lessons God has placed on our hearts for us to teach. To give the gifts the world waits for.<br />
<br />
Ray. Thanks for your example of this lesson. We love you and you are always always in our hearts.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
<span class="text Lam-3-22" id="en-ESV-20377" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">The steadfast love of the <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> never ceases;</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Lam-3-22" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-20377B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-20377B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>his mercies never come to an end;</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="text Lam-3-23" id="en-ESV-20378" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">23 </span>they are new <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-20378C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-20378C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>every morning;</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Lam-3-23" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-20378D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-20378D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-57506665452333807582015-10-11T16:01:00.000-05:002015-10-11T16:01:48.291-05:00Blessed<div class="MsoNormal">
Loved Ones -</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This Tuesday would have been Ray's 44th Birthday.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last weekend in church our Responsorial Psalm was the
Responsorial Psalm from our wedding. In the 14 years since our wedding, I've
probably heard that Psalm 2-3 times. So, noteworthy. I loved our Responsorial
Psalm, we picked it because it described our children as olive plants. Both Ray
and I loved olives, they remind us of the Holy Lands, and it was lovely to
think of our children growing in this way. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The refrain of the Responsorial
Psalm (Psalm 128) reads like this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Blessed are those who love you, happy those who follow
you, blessed are those who seek you, Oh God."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And these are the verses:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Happy those who fear the Lord and walk in God's
pathways, you will find what you long for, the riches of our God."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Your spouse shall be like a fruitful vine in the midst
of your home, your children flourish like olive plants, rejoicing at your
table."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"May the blessings of God be yours all the days of your
life, may the peace and the love of God live always in your heart."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can see Ray and I as a young couple picking out this Psalm
for our wedding. It creates such a picture doesn't it? It is truly idyllic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More difficult is the actual picture.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet. I will stand on the fact that this Responsorial
Psalm is as true for us today as it was then. Truer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the Scriptures, blessing is a funny thing. It's not quite
what you think.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessed are those who mourn, for THEY WILL BE COMFORTED.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of
God.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:3-10</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don't see a whole lot of idyllic in that passage. But I do
see truth. Truth I have lived. Truth I have clung to. And I see blessing.
Blessing that comes from finding ourselves unequal to the task. Blessing that
comes from God's strength, greater than ours can ever be. Blessing from asking
only that our lives, our person, be transformed to be like his.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We ARE finding what we long for and boy do we long for it.
The riches of God.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our children ARE like olive plants, they DO rejoice at the
table.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The peace and love of God IS ALWAYS in our hearts.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is not understandable what Ray endured. Neither is God.
But he says Blessed. He says the Kingdom of Heaven. I have no doubt that's where
Ray is now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy Birthday Ray. It isn't what we thought it would look
like but we are blessed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
not alone and not afraid -</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
kristin</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Thus far has the Lord helped us." I Samuel 7:12</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-24767590217520128052015-06-21T06:58:00.002-05:002015-06-21T06:58:18.855-05:00Happy Father's Day RayLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Last night we watched the video of our last Father's Day with Ray. I can't believe it's been seven years! After Ray died we watched every single minute of him that we could find on video but that was so long ago, so the girls didn't remember. It was so nice to see him! And so nice for the girls to see how they were. How much he loved them and how much they loved him! Especially for Lucy who has so few memories.<br />
<br />
There was a moment when Ray was sick and one of his friends was trying to comfort him. He said, "Don't worry, we'll take care of your kids." After he left Ray said, "I don't want anyone to take care of my kids, I want to take care of them." It was a heartbreak to leave them.<br />
<br />
We are so grateful for every minute we had with him. Just seeing those moment with him reminds us of what a wonderful father and husband he was. How much he loved his girls. How much he loved me.<br />
<br />
I read a post from a newly widowed woman a few weeks ago. She was lamenting that she wanted "Option A" her husband, not "Option B," a well meaning substitute. She concluded that she was going to do the very best Option B she could, in honor of her husband.<br />
<br />
And on that note, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am for all the people who help me every day to do just that.<br />
<br />
To the fathers and the mothers who look out for my girls and me. To the dads who make extra jokes with Lucy. To the dads and moms who cheer for Magggie on the field. To the teachers who inspire and nurture Nora in junior high. To the coaches who help them be their best. To the friends and neighbors who support me, who carpool with me, who listen to me agonize over decisions.<br />
<br />
To my Dad, who was a WatchDOG Dad at school, to Dean who took Lucy to the Father-Daughter Dance at school. To my brother in laws for all they do to be there for my kids all the time.<br />
<br />
God Bless all of you.<br />
<br />
Ray, we can never do it the way we wanted to without you but we are grateful, so grateful, for the many hands and hearts who help us do the very best we can without you here on earth with us.<br />
<br />
Happy Father's Day in heaven.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
"A father to the father-less, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Psalm 68:5Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-5910406545054005332015-04-19T22:43:00.001-05:002015-04-19T22:43:51.141-05:00Ray is Looking DownLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
We have had some wonderful days where Ray's spirit was so present. The girls and I traveled to Taylor University last Friday for the Ray Fitzgerald Lectureship. I was so thrilled that Ray's story could be shared with the whole student body in chapel. Of all the lasting impacts on me, Ray's faith and spirit are some of the most powerful. I am so glad to have the opportunity to pay tribute to him. And to know anew that all that he taught me, the girls, the world, that it will live on. That it will continue to be shared and that it will continue to grow. As I reflected in my comments - God's path for Ray was the path of the cross. And Ray bore that cross so faithfully. God be praised for the witness and testimony of his faithful servant.<br />
<br />
This weekend was Lucy's first communion. Oh! The days! It is hard to have Ray miss that one! Lucy was so beautiful. And though her memories of Ray are few her connection and love for him are strong. She was so faithful and so excited for the true faith step. I told her over and over how proud Ray was and how much I knew he was looking down at her with joy.<br />
<br />
After the Taylor Lectureship Lucy and I were driving downtown to spend the night at "Dozin' with the Dinos" at the Field Museum and the song, "See you again" came on. "It's been a long day without you my friend and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..."<br />
<br />
Oh Ray, they are long and happy days and I pray that you can see and know the joy of them in heaven. We will tell you all about them when we see you again.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies,</span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-26605A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-26605A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-74971079585141980222015-01-21T01:09:00.001-06:002015-01-21T01:09:59.213-06:00Six YearsLoved Ones,<div>
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Today marks the sixth anniversary of Ray's death. This Sunday we met Ray's family for mass, brunch and a visit to Ray's grave. We all remembered our favorite things about Ray. When we got in the car to go home the girls said, "Why didn't you tell us this about Daddy?" The stories we remembered to them were new.</div>
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I remember that when Ray was sick I used to think to myself, will I ever be nostalgic for these very hard days? It was so very hard, and so painful, it was difficult to imagine that I would ever long to go back to those times.</div>
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As we were decorating the Christmas tree, we listened to a Christmas song we hardly ever listen to, a song that was indelibly marked as being from that time. I asked Nora, what do you think of when you hear that song? She said, the hospital. So it wasn't just me, it was a true relic of those days. I asked her if it made her feel sad but she just remembered the association, less the feeling.</div>
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That song for me will forever be sad. But I listened to it on repeat that day and many days afterward. I don't wish for the sadness, but I was moved by the connection.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When Ray died I knew that it would be hard for Lucy to remember the connection she had with her dad so I documented it. In journal entries written in the months after Ray died, I laid out for her just how she felt about him as a baby. The things she said. What she remembered.</div>
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Six years later, I was right that it is hard to remember the connection to her dad she so longs for. I am so grateful for that journal! It is exactly what I hoped it would be, a reminder of how much she was marked by her dad, even at age one!</div>
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I reflected often as I wrote that I couldn't believe how well the girls did. That my only answer was the prayers of so many. Likewise today, it is by the grace of God and to his glory that we are doing so well. We are grateful to you for the many prayers God answers on our behalf.</div>
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January 6th would have been our 14th anniversary. Always on that day I think of the vows we made. Though we had the traditional service, our vow was just a tiny bit different than the traditional. Instead of vowing till death do us part, our vow was simple. We vowed to love each other all the days of our life.</div>
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All the days of our lives sweet Ray. We are loving you and remembering you.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuiDDKVIuJYhkJUVXHQXEoraBM7qJEBgKEnjFa0t9pIy3iZSzx0qcpSC_XNKyc3QnPd7AxMx4NWYlUU9oBGlZJ2Vu3P_sTvvX2900kl0BwKqyZbabtkBXjtxd4t_BcIa10QYv9mcsDer8a/s1600/Lucy+and+Ray+Birthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuiDDKVIuJYhkJUVXHQXEoraBM7qJEBgKEnjFa0t9pIy3iZSzx0qcpSC_XNKyc3QnPd7AxMx4NWYlUU9oBGlZJ2Vu3P_sTvvX2900kl0BwKqyZbabtkBXjtxd4t_BcIa10QYv9mcsDer8a/s1600/Lucy+and+Ray+Birthday.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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not alone and not afraid --</div>
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kristin</div>
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"I will remember my covenant between me and you." Genesis 9:15</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-75717361995990659742014-10-13T11:16:00.001-05:002014-10-13T11:16:46.865-05:00Happy Birthday Ray<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Loved Ones,<br />
<br />
When Ray was sick I had this burning sense of purpose for the email to all of you. As I went about tasks, I was thinking about the message, it was always on my heart. Likewise today my heart is burning to share with you.<br />
<br />
It is, I feel, one of the true tributes I can offer Ray, to remember him here for those who knew him. On Facebook, to educate those who didn't. So that all the things we love about him live on. In some cases, live on anew.<br />
<br />
I think of Ray so often. Like he was when he was alive, he is truly the good angel on my shoulder. There are few people who are so generous of spirit - kind of heart - giving of time - filled with joy!<br />
<br />
That was our Ray!<br />
<br />
I know I will never be the same having had him as an example. I pray for more energy to try harder to be like him. So that by some small way in me, my children will glimpse a fraction of the person their dad was!!<br />
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I thank the many people who by their own generosity of spirit, show my children the ways that Ray impacted them and the qualities that he was!!<br />
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Just by its very nature, the task of being a widow gives me less of these traits! I reflected the other day, that perhaps this is the task of today's widows, to recover not the physical riches, the emotional ones that are lacking due to the nature of loss.<br />
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We have gone to many masses this weekend in Ray's honor. Not coincidentally, one of the Scriptures this weekend was from Ray's funeral. And it reminded me that it will always be a bit cloudy, our understanding of God's plan. But that there will be a day where there is no more sadness and death is swallowed up forever. <br />
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Joy will reign.<br />
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If I focus on earthly pain, there is no end. But if I focus on this fact, there is a way through.<br />
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To God be the glory.<br />
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Happy Birthday Ray.<br />
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not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
Isaiah 25:6-9<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"On this mountain</span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18125U" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18125U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">the</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 24px;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Almighty will prepare</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-25-6" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">a feast<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18125V" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18125V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> of rich food for all peoples, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">a banquet of aged wine—</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-25-6" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">the best of meats and the finest of wines. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">On this mountain he will destroy</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-25-7" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">the shroud<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18126X" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18126X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> that enfolds all peoples, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">the sheet that covers all nations;</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">he will swallow up death</span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18127Z" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18127Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> forever. T</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">he Sovereign </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 24px;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> will wipe away the tears</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-25-8" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">from all faces; </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">he will remove his people’s disgrace</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-25-8" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">from all the earth. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">The </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 24px;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> has spoken. </span><span class="versenum" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">In that day</span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18128AD" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18128AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> they will say,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">“Surely this is our God;</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-25-9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">we trusted<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18128AF" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18128AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> in him, and he saved<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18128AG" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18128AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> us. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">This is the </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 24px;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">, we trusted in him;</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-25-9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; position: relative;">let us rejoice<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-18128AH" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-18128AH" title="See cross-reference AH">AH</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and be glad in his salvation.”</span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-53647815713978228942014-06-14T21:18:00.000-05:002014-06-14T21:18:33.401-05:00Happy Father's Day RayLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Thoughts of Ray are all around us. This spring the girls have missed him so much, especially Lucy. I think they are all so used to life without him but sometimes his absence is a such a hole. There is a program at school called Watch DOGS (Dads of Great Students). The girls have declined offers to have someone "sub" for Ray but they miss having him there. Lucy told me she dreamed that her dad came back and was a Watch DOG. The Father Daughter dance this year was similar, we had many tears of grief that Ray is just not able to do this with them, we know he would have loved to do this so much.<br />
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For the past five months I've been trying to decide whether to take the girls to Europe this summer. I've studied and googled, I have almost the whole trip planned, tickets on hold, it's just hard to make the decision, that is always hard for me.<br />
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We were in church tonight for the Father's Day mass, the decision was all I could think about.<br />
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This whole trip is such a connection with Ray. The only person I've ever traveled with is Ray, we went to Paris and got engaged and managed to fit in two more Europe trips before kids. It is magical and it is him. Like pennies burning in my pocket I feel a burn to get the kids to Europe. It's the thing I most wish we could have done with Ray that we didn't do.<br />
<br />I was thinking in church of all the things that remind me of him with travel, even just coming into Dulles Airport when we had just gotten engaged.<br />
<br />The travel prices I have been watching for months dropped last night and the flight that I found went through Dulles. It felt so comforting to see that, so similar. The exact same experience Ray and I had.<br />
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And why wouldn't I go -- do anything to connect with Ray. He would be so thrilled for us to go, so glad for the connection to him, never mind the wonder of the actual experience.<br />
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It's hard to go alone. Not that I am not used to that! There are just so many things to worry over, the long flight, the expense, the worry of the kids ages. I could simply make so many excuses.<br />
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These thoughts were swirling and as we went up for communion the song Taste and See started playing. Gosh, that song reminds me of Ray! He used to sing "sit and scoot" as the girls would scoot down the stairs just to that same tune. It was so sweet and I just think of him.<br />
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After the mass the girls and I were talking about it and I was trying to tell them the connections to Ray and we drove by a green Saturn! The Shimkus-mobile we used to call Ray's green Saturn. The girls turned around to look and the the license plate said "Fitz."<br />
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Oh Ray. We are thinking of you. We got your messages! We wish you a Happy Father's Day. We sure do miss you a lot. We'll keep thinking of you and seeking out the things that make us feel closer.<br />
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This day can never be the same without you.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">I John 3:3</span></span><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-82772542454593862242014-01-21T06:49:00.000-06:002014-01-21T06:49:30.895-06:00Five YearsLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Today is the five year anniversary of Ray's death.<br />
<br />
I've been reflecting on Ray so much. I am always amazed by Ray's attitude during his illness. When Ray was diagnosed with cancer, with a few exceptions, he consistently had the worst possible case scenarios. Yet he endured all that without complaint. Not without sadness. But without complaint. I admire this so much -- such a testimony to his faith and spirit that he could bear this heavy load.<br />
<br />
We gathered at mass Sunday with Ray's family and mine in Ray's honor. Our reading talked about how it wasn't enough for Christ to be a servant. He was to be a light for the nations.<br />
<br />
I feel that way with Ray. He was God's servant, but that wasn't enough. His example, his light, his witness was to be a story for others. A guiding light. Something to look up to.<br />
<br />I feel that way about him. Whenever I think to complain I think of him and I try desperately not to do it. Not that Ray was super human!! But he was good. He was good like that even before he was sick and after watching him when he was sick, I just feel like to honor his memory, how can I complain?<br />
<br />
I have already been given so much! Five more years! Five more years than Ray! Each hour, each day, each week with my girls a blessing to me and something I wish he could have experienced. I know he must savor this from heaven! But here. To hug these girls here. To see these moments here.<br />
<br />
I know so many of you are thinking of him because you're calling me or emailing me.<br />
<br />
When the girls were leaving that last time, I asked Ray if he had anything else to say to them and he said, "Remember me."<br />
<br />
Today and every day we remember you Ray. We remember your light. We remember your uncomplaining spirit. We remember your unshakable faith.<br />
<br />
In your honor -- we won't complain. We will live each day like everything could change tomorrow -- because of you - we know it can.<br />
<br />
We will do our best to work our hardest for the things that have the most value. Our faith. Our family. The causes and cases that strengthen others and pass on love, kindness and value.<br />
<br />
And Ray. We will do our best to rid the world of cancer. To spare others from what you endured. Another young friend of ours was recently lost to cancer and his father made this observation at his funeral. He contrasted the 58,000 Americans that were lost through Vietnam to the over 600,000 Americans we lose each year to cancer -- asking why we are not protesting in the streets. Preach it Mr. Battle. Over the years we have done a lot of advocacy for our fellow cancer patients and families. Each year we hope that advocacy turns into actual progress for patients. I will say this, we will not stop until it does.<br />
<br />
And so. A memory. A rallying cry. An example for the ages.<br />
<br />
Ray, we miss you. We remember you. We will not stop. And we will savor each day, loving the blessing of life, wishing you were here to savor with us.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">God is our refuge</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14616A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">and strength, </span><span class="text Ps-46-1" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">an ever-present<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14616C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></span> help<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14616D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></span> in trouble. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Therefore we will not fear,</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14617F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">though the earth give way</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="background-color: white; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-46-2" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">and the mountains fall<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14617H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></span> into the heart of the sea, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">though its waters roar</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14618J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">and foam</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="background-color: white; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-46-3" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">and the mountains quake<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14618L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></span> with their surging.</span><span class="text Ps-46-3" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; position: relative;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><b> </b></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">There is a river</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14619M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">whose streams</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14619N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">make glad the city of God,</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="background-color: white; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-46-4" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">the holy place where the Most High<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14619P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></span> dwells. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">God is within her,</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14620R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">she will not fall;</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="background-color: white; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-46-5" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">God will help<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14620T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></span> her at break of day. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Nations</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14621U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">are in uproar,</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14621V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">kingdoms</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14621W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">fall;</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="background-color: white; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-46-6" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">he lifts his voice,<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14621X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)"></span> the earth melts. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">The</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="small-caps" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Almighty</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14622Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">is with us;</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="background-color: white; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-46-7" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">the God of Jacob<span class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14622AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></span> is our fortress. Psalm 46:1-7</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-37818304511376108412014-01-06T14:27:00.000-06:002014-01-06T14:27:40.391-06:00Happy Anniversary RayLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Today was supposed to be our first day back to school but the cold weather gave us a few more days of break. The girls cheered!!! When I was putting Lucy to bed last night I told her that today was our Anniversary. She was so excited!! When she woke up I was on a conference call but she ran into the room and said, "Happy Anniversary!"<br />
<br />
I am so glad to remember this day even with Ray gone. Through the years we've done different things to remember. Ray and I always had chocolates and champagne! The girls and I look at pictures or watch the video. I am so glad to continue the celebration of our love and commitment.<br />
<br />
Of course we wish so much that Ray was here to dance with us! I am sorry that the girls will never get to see that side of him personally. He was such a great dancer!<br />
<br />
A friend posted a quote on Facebook a few days ago and I just wanted to cheer. It was something so beautiful about how our life is for others - that contributing our very best effort for others is such an honorable way to live life. That was RAY. No complaining. No worrying about his own happiness. Doing his best at his job, at his life. Living and loving others.<br />
<br />
So in your honor Ray I was planning our lobby day and our hill briefing on stomach cancer today on this day. And I will be at School Board later tonight working hard!<br />
<br />
You will always live on in us.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
"For me to live is Christ..." Phillippians 1:21<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-87694507277254974722013-11-10T14:09:00.000-06:002013-11-10T14:09:05.600-06:00Oh Holy NightLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
I know it's not Christmas but it's coming soon. This weekend I am not sure if it is the cold air, the Starbucks red cups, or the Hallmark Channel's Countdown to Christmas Movies, but we turned on the Christmas music.<br />
<br />
My favorite Christmas song I think of all time is "Oh Holy Night."<br />
<br />
On my computer I have a copy of an instrumental version done by a New Orleans Jazz Group shortly after the Hurricane. We saw in on TV and Ray found the version for me because I loved it. I am techno-challenged and when Ray was sick another friend came and put that version on my computer.<br />
<br />
I love it. I think of Ray and I think of overcoming.<br />
<br />
Another dear friend of mine lost her husband to cancer this summer. We had reflected on that song last year. I was caught by the "weary world rejoices..." She by "A thrill of hope..."<br />
<br />
Which are you this year? As we enter the holiday season I'm not sure.<br />
<br />
I am grateful for a God who holds our weariness in his hand and gives us reason to hope.<br />
<br />
This Christmas season I pray for more hope than weariness. I pray that like the City of New Orleans, we are able to overcome.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid -<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees. Oh hear the angel voices. Oh night divine. Oh night when Christ was born." Oh Holy Night<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4YMxGUiwyY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4YMxGUiwyY</a><br />
<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-42130643367752893832013-10-13T20:41:00.000-05:002013-10-13T20:41:06.300-05:00Ray Birthday Part TwoLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Thanks for your emails and posts on this special day.<br />
<br />
This morning I was listening to the Rent soundtrack's "Seasons of Love." It was such a poignant song on this day, asking the question how do you measure the life of a man?<br />
<br />
The song's answer, in seasons of love was running through my mind this whole day.<br />
<br />
I watched that love play soccer this morning.<br />
<br />
I ate lunch with that love this afternoon.<br />
<br />
I rode bikes with that love this evening.<br />
<br />
Nora, Maggie and Lucy, your legacies of love will carry you with them always. When their eyes sparkle, when they give that easy grin, when they choose not to make a fuss over something small or large. <br />
<br />
That legacy of un-measurable love will live in my heart always. In the hearts of your sisters. In the hearts of your daughters. In the hearts of your friends, of your family.<br />
<br />
We miss you, we honor you, above all, we love and remember you on this day.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid --<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-15441121788294084042013-10-13T05:51:00.000-05:002013-10-13T05:51:38.233-05:00Happy Birthday Ray!Loved Ones,<br />
<br />
Today is Ray's 42nd Birthday. We celebrated with Ray's family last night, going to a special mass and eating dinner at a restaurant together.<br />
<br />
Five years ago we celebrated with Ray. We did a surprise party that year he was sick, inviting all of his friends to celebrate with him.<br />
<br />
It's hard to believe that January will mark five years without him.<br />
<br />
When I am with his family, Ray is all around us. No one is more like him than his family. The lightness of spirit, the love and care, are the way Ray marked the world. I always feel a special "home" when I am with them.<br />
<br />
But the truth is that Ray continues to mark the world.<br />
<br />
I was reflecting a few weeks ago on the path that our family has taken. As I have said many times -- no one chooses this path, it is not what you expect for your life, it is not what Ray expected from his.<br />
<br />
However, I am often reminded of the homily where our pastor said that the translation of "my yoke is easy and my burden is light" is not light but well fitting. Well fitting.<br />
<br />
Could it be that there are some people who live life in such a meaningful way that they can be remembered far after they are gone, continuing to mark our lives with their legacy??<br />
<br />
Ray's nephew and Godson Patrick interned in Washington D.C. this summer in Ray's old office. He walked in Ray's footsteps, working for his boss, with his colleagues. While Patrick was there I was working on a letter about stomach cancer, asking the Illinois Congressional Delegation to sign on in support, in memory of Ray.<br />
<br />
Five years is a long time, it's light years in politics and many of the old offices that actually worked with Ray are gone. New Members, new staff.<br />
<br />
But the memory of Ray is not gone. As I know Patrick will attest, Ray's legacy is large.<br />
<br />
Every single Member of the Illinois Delegation signed that letter. Every one. Every new office. Every old office. From every point in the political spectrum.<br />
<br />
At the Ray Fitzgerald Lectureship last month, the room was filled. Filled with students, teachers, the Taylor University President. People who were listening to a message they would not have heard, if it had not been for Ray. If it had not been for Ray's example of love, his example of faith.<br />
<br />
Oh that Ray had the opportunity to live the life that we all dream of, where we grow old, where we have the chance to do all the things we hoped to do.<br />
<br />
But Ray's life lives on.<br />
<br />
The people he touched will not forget.<br />
<br />
The legacy that he lived, the beauty of his life, it just doesn't end.<br />
<br />
Oh I am so grateful to all that remember Ray on this day. Those that help to carry his legacy. Those that tell the story of his life and the story of his death.<br />
<br />
Ray, your legacy is well fitting.<br />
<br />
Happy Birthday.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid --<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
<span class="text Matt-11-29" id="en-NIV-23489">"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23489A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup>
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23489B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-NIV-23490"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 29-30<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23490C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup></span><br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-48219732730084646722013-09-29T08:27:00.001-05:002013-09-29T08:27:05.632-05:00Thinking of RayLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Ray has been on our minds this week in many special ways.<br />
<br />
On Tuesday we journeyed to Taylor University for the third annual Ray Fitzgerald Lectureship. At the Lectureship, Dr. David Bjork spoke to the partnership of the Evangelical and Catholic Churches in making disciples of Christ. It was a meaningful and inspiring evening. Dr. Bjork, who knew Ray and I when we lived in D.C., was a fantastic speaker for the event. We are very excited at the progress that was made in educating Taylor students and others about the Catholic Church and our mission of encouraging partnerships.<br />
<br />
Just last night the girls and I went to the White Sox game in Ray's honor, a gift of the Family Lives on Foundation. Last year we were connected with this neat group that helps families celebrate the birthday of their loved one, doing something special that they did together. My girls were interviewed and they told about Nora's trip to the White Sox game with Ray, along with times that they watched the Incredibles together and ate Sour Patch Kids.<br />
<br />
A week ago a package arrived for us with White Sox tickets, sour patch kids and an Incredibles ornament.<br />
<br />
And so we set off to the White Sox game with Ray in our hearts.<br />
<br />
I wondered what the night would hold? Beyond our memories and thoughts, would we feel a connection to Ray in a special way?<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We headed out from soccer with just enough time to make it
to the game. When we arrived, we went
about the process of selecting our brats and popcorn and finding our seats. Just as we sat down, the White Sox hit a homerun
and fireworks went off. I wasn't quite
able to concentrate as the girls were still settling in, but the Sox
immediately hit ANOTHER homerun and we all watched the beautiful fireworks.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a bit of time, we got up to get some sweet treats and
then returned to our seats. Again,
immediately as we sat down, the Sox hit a homerun, followed by fireworks.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not know the nature of angels and what they can do to
keep us safe and assure us of their love and presence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I do know this.
If it was within his power, our White Sox loving angel would do
everything he could to assure us of his loving presence and further, ensure that
his girls continued to be White Sox fans, by setting off fireworks and being
sure that his girls enjoyed their game, while thinking of him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got your message Ray!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
not alone and not afraid,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
kristin</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"And I will make every effort to see that after my
departure you will always be able to remember these things." 2 Peter
1:14-16</div>
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-75777846081930882012013-08-21T08:10:00.001-05:002013-08-21T14:36:43.567-05:00First Day of School<div class="MsoNormal">
Loved Ones,</div>
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<br /></div>
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It's the end of an era today. For much of the last 11 years I have had a
child at my side. The last few with Lucy
who my friends called a little monkey I would swing up on my hip.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Today all my girls go to school all day.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I'm one of those moms that hates this day! For all the moms at the bus stop who cheer, I
am the one with tears.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Last night I cleaned and packed lunches and straightened and
set out clothes and set alarms and when I finally dropped in bed I felt sadness. I didn't want to take the next step!</div>
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<br /></div>
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It reminds me of when I took Nora to day care for the very
first time. I prepared and labeled all
of her stuff and got through those first three days to decide that I hated
it! I hated leaving my child! I did it long enough to be sure that I wanted
to quit and then I embraced mommy-hood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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What a joy and a privilege to be a mom. To be entrusted with those lives, those
souls, those spirits.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My beautiful girls are growing up so quickly. Of course they are ready! The last days of the "Mommy/Lucy
club" are over, and all three are so excited for their wonderful teachers
-- happiness all around.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Still. Like so many
times in my life, I wish I could turn back the clock. I am grateful for each day I enjoyed with each
girl. I am grateful for the chance to
celebrate and navigate the challenges and the joys of each stage and each day. I wouldn't trade it and I'll always cherish
it.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I am very grateful for the fact that I planned for this day
and as my kids took steps forward I did too!</div>
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<br /></div>
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But I will always miss them at my side.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Happy fall. Happy
back to school.</div>
<br />
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not alone and not afraid --</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
kristin</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-4107039835514450052013-06-16T07:45:00.005-05:002013-06-16T07:45:52.460-05:00Father's Day 2013Loved Ones,<br />
<br />
I hate it that it's been so long since I updated the blog!<br />
<br />
So much has happened, the girls continue to grow and grow! They are beautiful soccer players and students. It is a joy to watch them grow. I am so proud of them. <br />
<br />
And they are proud of their mom! This spring I was elected to the School Board in Naperville. The girls were tireless campaigners and we are all excited for this new chapter.<br />
<br />
We continue to remember Ray! This spring so many events have commemorated Ray's life and legacy.<br />
<br />
Most recently, we went to Washington D.C. for the Ray Fitzgerald Charity Classic Softball Tournament hosted by the Illinois Congressional Delegation. It was a great day -- around 95 people attended and we had fun playing softball and raising money for cancer research. Ray would have loved that day!<br />
<br />
The Monday afterward, the girls and I participated in the first ever Stomach Cancer Advocacy Day on Capitol Hill! 28 stomach cancer patients and families participated in this event -- all together we met with 57 offices and we are working to send a letter to the National Cancer Institute to ask for more research for stomach cancer. This was a rewarding day. Since Ray died, I have been working to transmit the message that this deadly cancer is growing in young people. Nothing more effectively communicates that message than the young people themselves going to Congress and telling their stories.<br />
<br />
In April, we went to Taylor for the Second Ray Fitzgerald Lectureship, where I gave the keynote speech, continuing to lay the foundation for Evangelical and Catholic partnerships to serve the world. We had great student participation and we are all looking forward to the third event, scheduled for September 24!<br />
<br />
Also in April, the girls and I went to Brother Rice High School, Ray's alma mater, to throw out the first pitch for a varsity baseball game. That was also a moving day - we were touched by the baseball players and coaching staff who honored Ray in this way. <br />
<br />
I continue to be asked to tell Ray's story and witness to the way that God continues to take care of our family. And I continue to be grateful for God's hand in this way.<br />
<br />
It's Father's Day so we always miss Ray on this day. Our neighborhood hosts a little fishing tournament for Dads and kids. We participated in this tournament a few times when the girls were little -- how we all wish that Ray was still here to fish with the girls. They would no doubt be competitively working to win the tournament with a large number of fish.<br />
<br />
We are grateful for our family. In so many ways they help us to manage all of the tasks of a super busy family with only one parent present. Ray would be grateful we know and I am grateful for their help.<br />
<br />
We think of Ray on this day and our prayer is that he knows how much we still remember and celebrate him always. We are all blessed from the years that he was here to be a Father to the girls and a loving husband to me. We wish it was longer! But we are changed from his presence and we are grateful for the time we had.<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid --<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
"The eternal God is your refuge, and <b>underneath</b> <b>are</b> <b>the</b> <b>everlasting</b> <b>arms." Deuteronomy 33:27</b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123656511708424722.post-42545737082682282562013-01-22T00:27:00.001-06:002013-01-22T00:27:19.750-06:00January 21, 2013 -- Four YearsLoved Ones,<br />
<br />
Today was the fourth anniversary of Ray's death. Like the Olympics, the Inaugeration provides a snapshot of our life in four year increments. 12 years ago we had just gotten married and went to the Illinois Inaugeral Gala. 8 years ago I was pregnant with Maggie and we went to the Inaugeral Gala. Four years ago, it was the day before Ray died. And today, his four year anniversary.<br />
<br />
The normalcy of the first two followed by the unthinkable nature of the third, and then today.<br />
<br />
We never know the road our life will take. And thank goodness for that sometimes.<br />
<br />
Our road today is marked with friends. You are them. And while we would never choose this road, we are glad for your presence on it. We are grateful for God's blessing and faithfulness to us even on this road. And we are grateful to you for your tremendous love and support over the last four years.<br />
<br />
We reflect on Ray's life today with JOY for the impact he made on the world while he was here and for the fact that the mark he made continues to be a legacy today. We are grateful to you who hold up Ray's legacy. Each person who mentions him, who does something in his memory, who honors him, we treasure those things in our hearts.<br />
<br />
Ray, we remember you today! We will never forget you! And we will always be grateful for your life with us here on earth!<br />
<br />
not alone and not afraid --<br />
<br />
kristin<br />
<br />
"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0