Monday, April 6, 2009

Texas Redux

Loved Ones,

The girls and I are off to Texas today. As they were sick most of last week we cancelled our Spring Break trip but decided to go for Easter instead. Nora will miss a few days of kindergarten but I think that will be ok. We are excited to see all of our cousins and soak up some of the warm weather, especially since it snowed here last night.

This will be our first major holiday without Ray. He's been so much on my mind throughout this Lenten season for so many reasons. Ray's death calls to mind Christ's suffering in so many ways. His willingness to follow God's plan. His patient suffering. His continued presence with us.

And in other ways we think of him. Dying eggs together. Hiding our Easter eggs for the Easter egg hunt and calling out hints during the hunt from behind the video camara.

Last Easter was just before things changed in our lives. Ray had given up soda last Lent and just after he resumed drinkning it the burping that would bring the cancer diagnosis began. Still, even without a cloud in our sky, I felt the coming darkness last Easter. As we went to bed that night I told Ray that I could hardly go to sleep, knowing what could happen before the next Easter, wishing I could hold on to this day.

Our hearts and minds will be full of many thoughts as we celebrate this Easter. Above all, we are grateful for the great and shining hope of eternal life in heaven together with Ray!

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last." John 15:16

not alone and not afraid --