Friday, October 13, 2017

Happy 46th Birthday Ray

Loved Ones -

With my three girls in travel soccer we are driving up and down 294 often. Lucy and I were heading to South Holland for a game a few weeks ago on 294. When we are heading to Indiana this way we always watch for Holy Sepulchre Cemetery to come up on the left but this time it caught us by surprise. I wouldn't have imagined how much we would love being able to drive by and almost see right to Ray's grave but we do. We always call out a message. This time was no different.

We sure miss Ray! This fall has been more busy than any other and any connection we find to him we cherish! I wouldn't have imagined how much soccer would have me on 294 either back then so it seems like divine planning that we have that special gift as we barrel down the highway on our way.

For Ray's birthday we were interviewed by our local neighborhood magazine. We talked about his love of White Sox and hatred of Cubs. When we were in DC last we ran into a hill staffer who recounted how Ray had called her when the White Sox won the World Series to make sure that the speech she wrote for her boss to give on the House floor was adequately full of White Sox facts. That was like found gold to have that new memory and to picture Ray calling.

We'll be thinking of him today and missing him more than any other! Happy Birthday Ray!!

not alone and not afraid -


"I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers." Ephesians 1:16

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Reaching Paris

Loved Ones,

I write this with joy and anticipation. I wrote three years ago about wanting to travel to Europe. I am so excited to say that we are on our way later tonight.

What a journey this has been. Emblematic of the journey of life itself, this long-awaited trip has been in the corner of my mind since I last wrote.

We are so excited to see the places that Ray and I traveled in Paris, and to connect with those memories. We are equally excited to make memories of our own.

Many things are similar to the first trip Ray and I took so many years ago when we got engaged. Can it be that this is 17 years later?

We are grateful for your prayers and wanted you to share in our joy and our adventure.

not alone and not afraid –

“all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” Psalm 139

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Eight Years

Loved Ones -

How is it possible that it has been eight years since Ray went to heaven? All at once it seems so long and so short. 

I am so grateful for every memory of Ray. We went to Disney over break because Nora was playing in a tournament. Because we've only been there three times, the time with Ray just before Ray got sick, was still fresh in my mind. We would turn a corner and a memory that I hadn't thought of in years would pop up, and I would pass it on to the girls. I am so grateful for every sentence. Every glimpse. 

One of those memories is the memory of the inauguration just before he died. Of course, you all know that Ray loved politics. I remember asking him what he thought during that election. And he would say, it just doesn't matter. It was so hard to hear that because it was of such shared importance during our whole relationship. People ask me all the time what I think he would think about all that has transpired since then. I wish I knew!! It is one of the things I miss most about him being gone!!! I so wish I could ask him. The old him before he got sick, and the person with all perspective later. 

I didn't really have that perspective problem when the Cubs won. I was pretty sure I knew what his thoughts would be and the girls and I did our best to stay true!!

I remember thinking once when we were at the hospital, will I ever hold these painful times as dear, just because they were still with him? I think I have reached that time now. I will take any memory. They are all a connection to him. 

One of the quotes I love the most about Ray is this: "To know Ray, was to be his friend." Today the depth and breadth of that truth was so evident. I am so grateful for the love of all our friends and family who surrounded us in every way today. God's love and Ray's I can feel through all of you. 

not alone and not afraid --


"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Psalm 139:16