Today

Loved Ones,

We had a good day. No weight gain, but no weight loss either. We're hopeful for tomorrow. Ray's been eating all day! Brazil nuts, tomatoes, soy beans... Hard to fit in all the cancer fighting foods any other way.

His friends came over and cut down a tree in our backyard. It was great to see Ray out in the backyard and hanging out with his friends.

We are so looking forward to this week! This is the week of building strength and Ray doesn't have chemo again until next Wednesday.

Besides all the meds and temperature taking and of course Ray's weight loss, it is still hard to believe he has cancer. In part just because it is all so new, in part because he seems to be doing better and in part just because it is still so hard to believe.

Do you wonder how you would respond? I used to also. I heard a report on the anniversary of Columbine and thought of the girl who did not deny God and died because of it. I wondered how it would be if it were me.

I didn't want it to be me. Others who were facing things like this struck fear in my heart. For years, I've "wrestled" with God, thinking somehow that I could prevent this exact scenario if I anticipated enough danger or prayed hard enough. Verses in the Bible about people who were blessed because they left their family for Christ just plain scared me. I love my family!!!!

A month or so before Ray's diagnosis I was talking about this with a friend and he said, "God knows the plan for your family. And it has met with his approval."

We do not know what that plan is. We are happy that today it was cutting down a tree. The girls reading books and singing songs with their dad in bed. Laughing.

When we wonder at all that has come about, it helps us to think of this verse. "All of the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16 It helps us to think that we will have enough strength to fight this battle when we think that before we were born, we were given the strength for today.

We pray for Ray's body to be filled with the spirit of Christ that is stronger than any cancer. We pray for victory in this battle. We pray for happy days when this battle is but a memory!

God knows the plan for our family. And it has met with his approval.

not alone and not afraid --

kristin and ray