Last night we watched the video of our last Father's Day with Ray. I can't believe it's been seven years! After Ray died we watched every single minute of him that we could find on video but that was so long ago, so the girls didn't remember. It was so nice to see him! And so nice for the girls to see how they were. How much he loved them and how much they loved him! Especially for Lucy who has so few memories.
There was a moment when Ray was sick and one of his friends was trying to comfort him. He said, "Don't worry, we'll take care of your kids." After he left Ray said, "I don't want anyone to take care of my kids, I want to take care of them." It was a heartbreak to leave them.
We are so grateful for every minute we had with him. Just seeing those moment with him reminds us of what a wonderful father and husband he was. How much he loved his girls. How much he loved me.
I read a post from a newly widowed woman a few weeks ago. She was lamenting that she wanted "Option A" her husband, not "Option B," a well meaning substitute. She concluded that she was going to do the very best Option B she could, in honor of her husband.
And on that note, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am for all the people who help me every day to do just that.
To the fathers and the mothers who look out for my girls and me. To the dads who make extra jokes with Lucy. To the dads and moms who cheer for Magggie on the field. To the teachers who inspire and nurture Nora in junior high. To the coaches who help them be their best. To the friends and neighbors who support me, who carpool with me, who listen to me agonize over decisions.
To my Dad, who was a WatchDOG Dad at school, to Dean who took Lucy to the Father-Daughter Dance at school. To my brother in laws for all they do to be there for my kids all the time.
God Bless all of you.
Ray, we can never do it the way we wanted to without you but we are grateful, so grateful, for the many hands and hearts who help us do the very best we can without you here on earth with us.
Happy Father's Day in heaven.
not alone and not afraid -
"A father to the father-less, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Psalm 68:5