Saturday will be the third anniversary of Ray's death. We will spend the day with family, honoring Ray with Masses in his memory and thinking of him.
It's hard to believe that it has been three years since he died. For Lucy and Maggie, it's been more time without him than with him.
But his memory is large. Even though he is not here, he is a constant presence in our family. The girls pray each night for Mommy and Daddy, not distinguishing between presence here or in heaven.
They know who smiles like him, who likes milk like him, that he would be glad that we were singing silly songs, that he would be embarassed that we made a fuss. They know him.
After Ray died a friend wrote me a letter and said that after some time the grief would subside and I would feel the wound of his loss less, and simply be grateful for the time that he was here. I think that's true. Though I'll always wish he was with us, though I still miss him terribly, I am truly grateful just for the fact that he was here at all. That he marked my life. That he gave me the girls.
And I know that's true for many of you.
How grateful I am for the mark he made on the world. On our friends. On our families.
Ray. We are thinking of you so much on this anniversary and always.
"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever." Psalm 136:1