Loved Ones,
Sometimes it is not the days that I expect to miss Ray that I really miss him, it is other days, days that don't seem on their face as monumental, but are.
I am prepared that Ray will not be there for his birthday, for example, but I forget to be prepared for other smaller events.
Today was our neighborhood Halloween party, and as I got the girls ready, I thought, wait, who do I show them to? And then Ray's absence seemed so large. And I missed him as I walked through the doors, and as I sat with the other moms and dads and watched the girls.
Later in the afternoon, it was Nora's last soccer game for the outdoor season. Lucy is fighting a cold so I waited until the last second to get her up from her nap and out the door. And all the way to the game she coughed and coughed. When we arrived, I told Nora I'd have to miss the game because I couldn't have Lucy outside in the cold, thinking I should probably take her to the doctor instead.
But then the sun came out and Barbie Nutcracker went on in the car and I got to coach Nora's last game.
If only I could summon Ray's help whenever I need it. But today, he was there.
"If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:8-10
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Ray's Birthday
Today was Ray's 38th Birthday. We celebrated in many ways; remembering the very best of Daddy's favorite things, sending balloons to heaven with Ray's family, celebrating the person we miss so very much.
Over the weekend and today, so many people expressed such tender thoughts about the friend they miss too. How much this means to us.
At a mass this morning for Ray, our priest said these words, "When our life is over, let us hope that the story of our lives is so much more beautiful than its cover (our outward appearance)."
How I wish the story of Ray's life went on much longer. But I am so appreciative of its beauty.
not alone and not afraid --
Over the weekend and today, so many people expressed such tender thoughts about the friend they miss too. How much this means to us.
At a mass this morning for Ray, our priest said these words, "When our life is over, let us hope that the story of our lives is so much more beautiful than its cover (our outward appearance)."
How I wish the story of Ray's life went on much longer. But I am so appreciative of its beauty.
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Thursday, September 10, 2009
And then there was one
Loved Ones,
Maggie returned to preschool this week. Maggie's teacher knew Ray, we spoke in Nora's class two years ago about DC, so she knew Ray before he was even sick. And she is as close to a fairy princess as any preschool teacher I have ever seen. So I was excited about the year for Maggie. But Maggie had a hard time with school last year after Ray died, so we weren't sure exactly how it would go.
Here is the picture, and you can see for yourself.
Maggie returned to preschool this week. Maggie's teacher knew Ray, we spoke in Nora's class two years ago about DC, so she knew Ray before he was even sick. And she is as close to a fairy princess as any preschool teacher I have ever seen. So I was excited about the year for Maggie. But Maggie had a hard time with school last year after Ray died, so we weren't sure exactly how it would go.
Here is the picture, and you can see for yourself.
I am so glad for God's healing hand for myself and the girls. Our grief and sadness for Ray are so big. We have a lot ahead. But I am so thankful to see healing and restoration along the way.
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Back to School
Loved Ones,
The Fitzgeralds have begun another school year with the start of first grade for Nora on August 19. And just tonight, her first grade soccer practice with Mom as Assistant Coach. Maggie doesn't start school until after Labor Day but she and Lucy had their first gymnastics class this week too.
Our days have been filled with milestones and we miss Ray very much. We know how proud he is. And we are glad for his love and the love of our Savior.
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
The Fitzgeralds have begun another school year with the start of first grade for Nora on August 19. And just tonight, her first grade soccer practice with Mom as Assistant Coach. Maggie doesn't start school until after Labor Day but she and Lucy had their first gymnastics class this week too.
Our days have been filled with milestones and we miss Ray very much. We know how proud he is. And we are glad for his love and the love of our Savior.
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hearing Ray's Voice
Loved Ones,
Of all the things I search for, it is Ray's voice. Knowing what things he would want, doing what would have made him happy. Sometimes it is hard to know what choice he would make, sometimes harder to do what I know he would say. And then there are days that everything seems right and I know that we are exactly where we should be.
We had some moments like that this weekend and today. Cookouts with friends and family, caring for friends who've lost a loved one, and watching golf at the Solheim Cup in nearby Sugar Grove.
Oh how glad I am to continue to be able to strengthen the link between the girls and their dad.
"Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life." Jude 1:21
not alone and not afraid
kristin
Of all the things I search for, it is Ray's voice. Knowing what things he would want, doing what would have made him happy. Sometimes it is hard to know what choice he would make, sometimes harder to do what I know he would say. And then there are days that everything seems right and I know that we are exactly where we should be.
We had some moments like that this weekend and today. Cookouts with friends and family, caring for friends who've lost a loved one, and watching golf at the Solheim Cup in nearby Sugar Grove.
Oh how glad I am to continue to be able to strengthen the link between the girls and their dad.
"Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life." Jude 1:21
not alone and not afraid
kristin
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
White Lake 2009
White Lake 2008Loved Ones,
We are back from White Lake. We had a great week there. Though it was heartbreaking to arrive without Ray, we felt very close to him, doing the things he did each summer since he was a little boy. It was great to be with his family as well. Uncle Joe renamed the White Lake Golf scramble in Ray's honor and made special shirts with his picture -- a lovely one of Ray at last year's golf event.
It is still very hard to believe that we were all together at White Lake only one year ago. And it is always very hard to get back in the car to go home without him.
Now that we are back at home, we are busy swimming every day so that we are ready to begin school on August 19! That's the first day of first grade for Nora so we are making the most of our time at the pool.
We are thankful for your continued prayers.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
We are back from White Lake. We had a great week there. Though it was heartbreaking to arrive without Ray, we felt very close to him, doing the things he did each summer since he was a little boy. It was great to be with his family as well. Uncle Joe renamed the White Lake Golf scramble in Ray's honor and made special shirts with his picture -- a lovely one of Ray at last year's golf event.
It is still very hard to believe that we were all together at White Lake only one year ago. And it is always very hard to get back in the car to go home without him.
Now that we are back at home, we are busy swimming every day so that we are ready to begin school on August 19! That's the first day of first grade for Nora so we are making the most of our time at the pool.
We are thankful for your continued prayers.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Loved Ones,
We leave Friday (7/31) for Wisconsin for a few days with my relatives and then a week at White Lake with Ray's family.
This week each summer was the most heralded of Ray's childhood. It was his happiest week while battling cancer; the most normal of the days we had together.
I know we will desperately miss his presence there this summer, while knowing that we can't be far from his sights.
Lucy has been saying lately that daddy is following us home when we drive. She points to the moon or the clouds which do seem to follow our car.
I know he'll follow us to White Lake.
"If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:8-10
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
We leave Friday (7/31) for Wisconsin for a few days with my relatives and then a week at White Lake with Ray's family.
This week each summer was the most heralded of Ray's childhood. It was his happiest week while battling cancer; the most normal of the days we had together.
I know we will desperately miss his presence there this summer, while knowing that we can't be far from his sights.
Lucy has been saying lately that daddy is following us home when we drive. She points to the moon or the clouds which do seem to follow our car.
I know he'll follow us to White Lake.
"If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:8-10
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
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