Loved Ones,
On Valentine's Day 2008, Ray and I surprised the girls with news of a trip to Disney World the next day. That day and the days following are some of our most precious memories. So we didn't know what this day would be like.
To my precious friend Carmen who spent the night so the girls would wake up with a "slumber party," we thank you.
To our neighbors and friends who cheered extra hard for Nora at her Valentine's Day soccer "double-header," we thank you.
To our precious family who showed up en mass with videocameras and cameras to cheer for Nora and record this day, we love you and we thank you.
To my precious extended family who cooked up a Valentine's afternoon lovefest to hang out with us, we know you did it for us and we thank you.
To our many neighbors who brought over Valentine's treats tonight and many other times, we thank you.
To our friends and family far away who called, wrote and sent Valentines of all kinds, we thank you.
We celebrated our precious Ray with ten red balloons attached to 10 High School Musical Valentines we sent off to heaven. Those beautiful red balloons glittered and bobbed for so long in the air as we sent our love up to heaven for our beautiful daddy, husband, brother, son and uncle.
The last time I sent this verse I felt as I wrote it that it truly embodied my husband. His love. We felt this love all around us today.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:1-8
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
DC Memorial Service
Loved Ones,
We have news about the Washington Memorial Service for Ray. The Service will be February 26 at 5:00 pm at St. Peters on the House side. It will be followed by a reception in Ray's honor at the Capitol Hill Club from 6-8. We hope you will be able to join us. All of Ray's sisters and a large contingency from my family will be there as well, including of course me and Nora, Maggie and Lucy. Craig will be sending an e-vite to you to get an idea of numbers for the reception. This will follow shortly. I can't tell you how much we are looking forward to the service and seeing all of you.
Not alone and not afraid,
Kristin
We have news about the Washington Memorial Service for Ray. The Service will be February 26 at 5:00 pm at St. Peters on the House side. It will be followed by a reception in Ray's honor at the Capitol Hill Club from 6-8. We hope you will be able to join us. All of Ray's sisters and a large contingency from my family will be there as well, including of course me and Nora, Maggie and Lucy. Craig will be sending an e-vite to you to get an idea of numbers for the reception. This will follow shortly. I can't tell you how much we are looking forward to the service and seeing all of you.
Not alone and not afraid,
Kristin
Monday, February 9, 2009
Healing
Loved Ones,
The girls and I went to church yesterday for the first time since Ray died. None of the girls wanted to stay in childcare so all four of us sat in the row. Our pastor spoke eloquently of Christ's healing that he gave freely to so many. He said that sometimes this healing was physical, and other times it was emotional and spiritual, allowing us to journey the roads we must travel.
This spoke to me. It is always a wonder when so many pray for healing, how God answers those prayers. We hoped so much that Ray's healing would be on earth. While I am so grateful for Ray's healing in heaven, I do believe that part of his and our healing was here, giving us the very strength to travel the road we walked.
And, though the road we walk now is long, I do feel God's hand upon us as we walk. And Ray's. The girls and I laughed so hard as we thought of how happy Ray would have been with our car that we finally cleaned out yesterday.
I also want you to know that we do feel God's hand from yours. So many many things brighten our days, the gym and pool membership from our neighbors, the heart shaped cookies from friends, coordination of our sump pump (!), so many cards with loving and kind words about Ray, masses in his honor... The list is long and all of it together makes it a little easier to have joy in our days.
Our prayer requests are these: for those times when we feel Ray's loss so dearly -- family dinner time, weekends, the old and familiar routines that we must resume in his absence. And for the girls, for those times when they achieve something they so dearly would loved to have shared with their dad and when they think of their dad -- that they always know his continued love from heaven.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
The girls and I went to church yesterday for the first time since Ray died. None of the girls wanted to stay in childcare so all four of us sat in the row. Our pastor spoke eloquently of Christ's healing that he gave freely to so many. He said that sometimes this healing was physical, and other times it was emotional and spiritual, allowing us to journey the roads we must travel.
This spoke to me. It is always a wonder when so many pray for healing, how God answers those prayers. We hoped so much that Ray's healing would be on earth. While I am so grateful for Ray's healing in heaven, I do believe that part of his and our healing was here, giving us the very strength to travel the road we walked.
And, though the road we walk now is long, I do feel God's hand upon us as we walk. And Ray's. The girls and I laughed so hard as we thought of how happy Ray would have been with our car that we finally cleaned out yesterday.
I also want you to know that we do feel God's hand from yours. So many many things brighten our days, the gym and pool membership from our neighbors, the heart shaped cookies from friends, coordination of our sump pump (!), so many cards with loving and kind words about Ray, masses in his honor... The list is long and all of it together makes it a little easier to have joy in our days.
Our prayer requests are these: for those times when we feel Ray's loss so dearly -- family dinner time, weekends, the old and familiar routines that we must resume in his absence. And for the girls, for those times when they achieve something they so dearly would loved to have shared with their dad and when they think of their dad -- that they always know his continued love from heaven.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Remembering Ray Part II
Loved Ones,
For some time I have wanted to write another email to this group. I have delaying in doing so simply because I was thinking of it as the 'last email." Goodness, I can't bear another last anything. So tonight I write to thank you, to update you and to tell you that I will do my best to post periodically to our family blog www.rayfitzgeraldfamily.blogspot.com And thus, thankfully, no goodbyes tonight.
It was one week ago that we buried Ray. Thank you to each of you who came to the wake and to the funeral. It was an incredible celebration of Ray and that was a joy to us. Your love for him and for us expressed in your presence was so tangible and meaningful to us, his family. The memorial gifts to the girls' education fund were so honoring to him. So too, the many many emails and cards speaking of Ray's legacy and assuring us that your prayers would not end now.
We are so grateful for your prayers. We find that while the severity of Ray's illness had prepared us for the actuality of his death, nothing could have prepared us for his absence. Many many times I find myself wishing like Maggie that Daddy would just fly out of heaven.
The road that stretches before us seems long. And yet we know that God, who selected this road for us, will not abandon us now. Thus we square our shoulders and soldier on, but so missing our dear companion.
Thankfully, there are the girls! They are so greatly in need of comfort, presence, and fun. I am glad for these demands.
We wanted to let you know of the date of the Washington D.C. Memorial Service for Ray. It will be on Thursday, February 26, followed by a time of Christian fellowship in Ray's honor. So, DC folk, save this date and we will post further details on the blog. Also on the blog are some tributes to Ray from Congressman John Shimkus, Ray's Congressional mentor and former boss, as well as a link to an article about Ray in the Chicago Tribune. Last, I am also attaching to this email the eulogy that I gave at Ray's funeral -- the love story of his life (posted on 1/26). We did videotape the funeral service and hope to get that posted up there somehow as well.
We care so much about all of you. Your companionship on this journey helped to carry us on the days we were just almost too tired to walk. We will always be indebted to you. We pray that you too, will be enriched by the beauty of Christian fellowship on the hard days of your journeys. We know this is God's very love for us on earth.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Psalm 68:5
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
For some time I have wanted to write another email to this group. I have delaying in doing so simply because I was thinking of it as the 'last email." Goodness, I can't bear another last anything. So tonight I write to thank you, to update you and to tell you that I will do my best to post periodically to our family blog www.rayfitzgeraldfamily.blogspot.com And thus, thankfully, no goodbyes tonight.
It was one week ago that we buried Ray. Thank you to each of you who came to the wake and to the funeral. It was an incredible celebration of Ray and that was a joy to us. Your love for him and for us expressed in your presence was so tangible and meaningful to us, his family. The memorial gifts to the girls' education fund were so honoring to him. So too, the many many emails and cards speaking of Ray's legacy and assuring us that your prayers would not end now.
We are so grateful for your prayers. We find that while the severity of Ray's illness had prepared us for the actuality of his death, nothing could have prepared us for his absence. Many many times I find myself wishing like Maggie that Daddy would just fly out of heaven.
The road that stretches before us seems long. And yet we know that God, who selected this road for us, will not abandon us now. Thus we square our shoulders and soldier on, but so missing our dear companion.
Thankfully, there are the girls! They are so greatly in need of comfort, presence, and fun. I am glad for these demands.
We wanted to let you know of the date of the Washington D.C. Memorial Service for Ray. It will be on Thursday, February 26, followed by a time of Christian fellowship in Ray's honor. So, DC folk, save this date and we will post further details on the blog. Also on the blog are some tributes to Ray from Congressman John Shimkus, Ray's Congressional mentor and former boss, as well as a link to an article about Ray in the Chicago Tribune. Last, I am also attaching to this email the eulogy that I gave at Ray's funeral -- the love story of his life (posted on 1/26). We did videotape the funeral service and hope to get that posted up there somehow as well.
We care so much about all of you. Your companionship on this journey helped to carry us on the days we were just almost too tired to walk. We will always be indebted to you. We pray that you too, will be enriched by the beauty of Christian fellowship on the hard days of your journeys. We know this is God's very love for us on earth.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Psalm 68:5
not alone and not afraid --
kristin
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Ray's Eulogy - The Love Story of His Life
I want to tell you a love story about a man named Ray.
There are not words enough to describe Ray's beautiful heart.
This heart was born of the love of two precious and caring parents and five adoring sisters. Baby Ray Ray, himself, was the light of all of their lives. Cherished and nurtured by his parents and sisters, Ray grew up on the south side of Chicago, inheriting a love of all things White Sox and Irish.
Ray's family set the foundation of faith in his life. Ray was baptized at St. Thomas More by his Godfather, Father Larry Dore. As he grew older, it was common for his Godfather to hold mass in the Fitzgerald basement, midnight mass on Christmas Eve.
Ray was celebrated and loved. When baby Ray was born, he went on display in the front window in his bassinet where all the neighborhood kids could admire the only boy. As a little boy he would sit and drink tea and eat cookies with his mom and dad every night before going to bed.
Ray was no less loved when he began school at St. Thomas More. How many people do you know that remain best friends with the friends they made in 2nd Grade? Here he found his true brothers. And kept them for a lifetime. Beginning with Little League and Wrightwood Baseball at Hayes Park, friendships were formed that would endure until they were groomsmen at each other's weddings.
The foundation of faith begun by Ray's family was nurtured at St. Thomas More because of all the faithful teachers and Father Brankin. The boys shared first communion, were altar boys and were confirmed together. They learned, they laughed and even cried.
One time, Ray and Mike Morgan were Science Fair Partners. They developed a model of a heart, complete with dyed red blood. Just before the judging, the heart broke and leaked red water all over Ray's hands. They wondered what they should do and Ray said simply that they should tell the truth to the judge. " You think it will work?" said Mike. With hands full of red die, Ray said he thought it would, and then followed Mike to the fair, quipping "We lost him" as he walked. The boys won first prize.
High School was no less important for Ray. Brother Rice and Kairos deepened and strengthened his faith in God. The Brother Rice motto, "Act manfully in Christ Jesus," became a theme for Ray's life. Friends made and kept in high school were multifaceted and lasting.
Ray went on to Northern Illinois University where he worked hard and studied politics and economics. He founded the Alpha Kappa Lambda Fraternity Chapter at NIU . At AKL Ray was Treasurer and then ran a hard fought contest for President. Typical of Ray, after losing, he did not hold a grudge. His opponent would later be the best man at his wedding. AKL was a brotherhood for Ray. Last fall he received an award for living out the AKL's five ideals of Judeo-Christian Principle, Leadership, Scholarship, Loyalty and Self Support.
Ray came to Washington with dedication to public service. He began his career working for Governor Jim Edgar. In a town driven by ambition, his sweet and humble spirit made a lasting impression. He was loved by all who worked with him.
When Ray arrived at Congressman John Shimkus office he came into his own professionally. Ray's mentors noted his leadership and excellence. His colleagues, Ray's preparation, fairness, and gentle and kind way. As so many staff in Washington were even younger than Ray, his office mates jokingly called him "old man." Later they would remember that of all that things that stood out about Ray, his faith was above all. Said one, "Ray made it cool to be Catholic."
Ray made deep friends in Washington, friends who shared the stages of life with him from easygoing singleness and committed professionalism to loving husband, and later dedicated father.
When Ray and I met, it was love at first date. After only six weeks Ray brought me home to meet the family. There the sisters gathered around me to hear the story of Kristin and Ray that they had such a hard time prying out of their baby brother.
What a story it was. After years of fun-loving dating, Ray and I made plans to travel to Paris. Said one of his sisters, "If you have ever thought of marrying her, you have to ask her in Paris." Ever the obedient brother, thankfully he did.
Our courtship, wedding and newlywed life were such a happy time. Lovers of family, fun and politics, Ray and I were the best of friends. What an incredible joy to share so many things together.
When Nora arrived, Ray became the most loving of fathers. He adored each one of his girls, tenderly cherishing their alone time and special moments together. He was such a fun dad, his girls loved to go fishing with him, ride "double bike" on his back, sing and talk together before bed. With five sisters and three sister in laws, Ray was the perfect father for Nora, Maggie and Lucy.
It was a joy for Ray to come home to Chicago. Spending more time with family and old friends, rooting for the White Sox, excelling at his new job, playing softball in the neighborhood, and traveling back to DC for work, he had the best of all worlds.
The discovery of Ray's illness last May was a shock to everyone. Not missing a day of work until the day he was diagnosed, he went instantly from healthy to sick.
There are not enough words to honor Ray's unwavering faith as all that he had hoped and dreamed of changed in a instant. Ray met his illness by saying "God will not give us more than we can handle." Though profoundly sad at the thought of leaving us, Ray's thankful attitude for all the blessings he had already received would never change. Even in his sickest of days, Ray was always courageous, uncomplaining, thoughtful of others, and at peace.
When we started the emails to ask for prayers for Ray's illness, it was Ray who said to end them with Not Alone and Not Afraid. Though the emails were often in my voice, I was simply telling the story. A story of hope, joy and peace that refused to be defeated by the outcome promised us in the first of days.
The response we got from the emails was remarkable. Though we had always known that Ray was loved, we could not have imagined the mark he had made on those around him and the depth of love for him from his family and friends. Those emails, prayers and encouragement were as important a part of our journey in illness as the illness itself. The encouragement our emails gave to others, while never easing the pain of loss, gave meaning to our suffering.
How do you lose someone like Ray? Though it seems impossible, we can trust only in the fact that the love his Father has for him surpasses our own. That the rages of illness could only be healed by the loving hand of his Father. And thus, through our tears, we give thanks for the chorus welcoming him home.
Ray, you will never be forgotten. All that you are, your legacy here on earth, will live on always in our hearts. We know your love for us will never change. And we know, that you will always be smiling at us from heaven.
There are not words enough to describe Ray's beautiful heart.
This heart was born of the love of two precious and caring parents and five adoring sisters. Baby Ray Ray, himself, was the light of all of their lives. Cherished and nurtured by his parents and sisters, Ray grew up on the south side of Chicago, inheriting a love of all things White Sox and Irish.
Ray's family set the foundation of faith in his life. Ray was baptized at St. Thomas More by his Godfather, Father Larry Dore. As he grew older, it was common for his Godfather to hold mass in the Fitzgerald basement, midnight mass on Christmas Eve.
Ray was celebrated and loved. When baby Ray was born, he went on display in the front window in his bassinet where all the neighborhood kids could admire the only boy. As a little boy he would sit and drink tea and eat cookies with his mom and dad every night before going to bed.
Ray was no less loved when he began school at St. Thomas More. How many people do you know that remain best friends with the friends they made in 2nd Grade? Here he found his true brothers. And kept them for a lifetime. Beginning with Little League and Wrightwood Baseball at Hayes Park, friendships were formed that would endure until they were groomsmen at each other's weddings.
The foundation of faith begun by Ray's family was nurtured at St. Thomas More because of all the faithful teachers and Father Brankin. The boys shared first communion, were altar boys and were confirmed together. They learned, they laughed and even cried.
One time, Ray and Mike Morgan were Science Fair Partners. They developed a model of a heart, complete with dyed red blood. Just before the judging, the heart broke and leaked red water all over Ray's hands. They wondered what they should do and Ray said simply that they should tell the truth to the judge. " You think it will work?" said Mike. With hands full of red die, Ray said he thought it would, and then followed Mike to the fair, quipping "We lost him" as he walked. The boys won first prize.
High School was no less important for Ray. Brother Rice and Kairos deepened and strengthened his faith in God. The Brother Rice motto, "Act manfully in Christ Jesus," became a theme for Ray's life. Friends made and kept in high school were multifaceted and lasting.
Ray went on to Northern Illinois University where he worked hard and studied politics and economics. He founded the Alpha Kappa Lambda Fraternity Chapter at NIU . At AKL Ray was Treasurer and then ran a hard fought contest for President. Typical of Ray, after losing, he did not hold a grudge. His opponent would later be the best man at his wedding. AKL was a brotherhood for Ray. Last fall he received an award for living out the AKL's five ideals of Judeo-Christian Principle, Leadership, Scholarship, Loyalty and Self Support.
Ray came to Washington with dedication to public service. He began his career working for Governor Jim Edgar. In a town driven by ambition, his sweet and humble spirit made a lasting impression. He was loved by all who worked with him.
When Ray arrived at Congressman John Shimkus office he came into his own professionally. Ray's mentors noted his leadership and excellence. His colleagues, Ray's preparation, fairness, and gentle and kind way. As so many staff in Washington were even younger than Ray, his office mates jokingly called him "old man." Later they would remember that of all that things that stood out about Ray, his faith was above all. Said one, "Ray made it cool to be Catholic."
Ray made deep friends in Washington, friends who shared the stages of life with him from easygoing singleness and committed professionalism to loving husband, and later dedicated father.
When Ray and I met, it was love at first date. After only six weeks Ray brought me home to meet the family. There the sisters gathered around me to hear the story of Kristin and Ray that they had such a hard time prying out of their baby brother.
What a story it was. After years of fun-loving dating, Ray and I made plans to travel to Paris. Said one of his sisters, "If you have ever thought of marrying her, you have to ask her in Paris." Ever the obedient brother, thankfully he did.
Our courtship, wedding and newlywed life were such a happy time. Lovers of family, fun and politics, Ray and I were the best of friends. What an incredible joy to share so many things together.
When Nora arrived, Ray became the most loving of fathers. He adored each one of his girls, tenderly cherishing their alone time and special moments together. He was such a fun dad, his girls loved to go fishing with him, ride "double bike" on his back, sing and talk together before bed. With five sisters and three sister in laws, Ray was the perfect father for Nora, Maggie and Lucy.
It was a joy for Ray to come home to Chicago. Spending more time with family and old friends, rooting for the White Sox, excelling at his new job, playing softball in the neighborhood, and traveling back to DC for work, he had the best of all worlds.
The discovery of Ray's illness last May was a shock to everyone. Not missing a day of work until the day he was diagnosed, he went instantly from healthy to sick.
There are not enough words to honor Ray's unwavering faith as all that he had hoped and dreamed of changed in a instant. Ray met his illness by saying "God will not give us more than we can handle." Though profoundly sad at the thought of leaving us, Ray's thankful attitude for all the blessings he had already received would never change. Even in his sickest of days, Ray was always courageous, uncomplaining, thoughtful of others, and at peace.
When we started the emails to ask for prayers for Ray's illness, it was Ray who said to end them with Not Alone and Not Afraid. Though the emails were often in my voice, I was simply telling the story. A story of hope, joy and peace that refused to be defeated by the outcome promised us in the first of days.
The response we got from the emails was remarkable. Though we had always known that Ray was loved, we could not have imagined the mark he had made on those around him and the depth of love for him from his family and friends. Those emails, prayers and encouragement were as important a part of our journey in illness as the illness itself. The encouragement our emails gave to others, while never easing the pain of loss, gave meaning to our suffering.
How do you lose someone like Ray? Though it seems impossible, we can trust only in the fact that the love his Father has for him surpasses our own. That the rages of illness could only be healed by the loving hand of his Father. And thus, through our tears, we give thanks for the chorus welcoming him home.
Ray, you will never be forgotten. All that you are, your legacy here on earth, will live on always in our hearts. We know your love for us will never change. And we know, that you will always be smiling at us from heaven.
Chicago Tribune Article
Raymond M. Fitzgerald, 1971-2009: Navistar lobbyist
By Joan Giangrasse Kates Special to the Tribune
January 26, 2009
You could take a South Sider and move him to Washington, but in the case of Raymond M. Fitzgerald, you couldn't take the South Side out of the man.
The youngest of six children and only son of a Chicago fireman, Mr. Fitzgerald carried with him the values of faith, family and friends when he moved in 1994 to Capitol Hill to serve as a legislative aide for five years to then-Illinois Gov. Jim Edgar. He later worked for a year as a member of the staff on the House Science and Technology Committee. more...
By Joan Giangrasse Kates Special to the Tribune
January 26, 2009
You could take a South Sider and move him to Washington, but in the case of Raymond M. Fitzgerald, you couldn't take the South Side out of the man.
The youngest of six children and only son of a Chicago fireman, Mr. Fitzgerald carried with him the values of faith, family and friends when he moved in 1994 to Capitol Hill to serve as a legislative aide for five years to then-Illinois Gov. Jim Edgar. He later worked for a year as a member of the staff on the House Science and Technology Committee. more...
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